Sunday, April 02, 2006

The Easter-Cancer Bunny

Well, Easter is fast approaching. Another holiday celebrated through dietary excess, not once, but twice in the same day as we travel across three counties to see both sets of in-laws. This is a real hardship when you're as health conscious as I am, but somehow I'll get through it.

I know I posted a version of this story in one of the first things I wrote for this site, but since the holiday is upon us, I can't resist rehashing this one just one more time. Two years ago we were at a relative's house where one of the aunts (by marriage) actually put cigarettes in her niece's Easter basket. Right next to the candy peeps were two packs of Marlboro Reds. You know, nothing celebrates the resurrection like self induced lung-cancer, especially when its facilitated by a close family member. Not only did she do it, but she offered justifications for it and could not understand why some folks found this odd. (I might be crazy, but I found this very odd.)

Unfortunately, this particular aunt has since been banished from family functions. Seems that she ticked off my mother-in-law by staking her seat at the table two hours before Thanksgiving dinner, not moving when she was told that she was in way, and then insisting on reading a long bible passage for grace before we could eat. It's a shame in a way though. We were hoping that this year she'd augment the abusable substance haul with some bath-tub gin or maybe, if we were really lucky, some crack. Boy, we'd all feel closer to Jesus then, huh?

A final Easter thought: Just remember folks, you can try this crucifixion thing at home, but your never going to get that third nail. (With all possible respect to the 'Young Ones')


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